I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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