have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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