Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
