He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
