We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
