I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
