exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize