ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
