You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
