haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
