The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
