Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
