it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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