When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i believe in u and ur pee
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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