I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize