Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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