but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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