your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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