sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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