Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
