i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
