Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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