Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
