she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm just crazy horny about you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize