I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
