there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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