I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
