remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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