I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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