My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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