so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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