it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
