forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
