doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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