She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
