i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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