Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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