how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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