I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So many bounce houses so little time
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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