But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
