i permit you to call me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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