I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize