Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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