Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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