Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
