I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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