My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do vagina's smell?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
