I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Randomize
