I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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