K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize