New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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