Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
