i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
