She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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