so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
