found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
