Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
