She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
