the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
