dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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