ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
