I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
