Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
