you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he puts the penis in happiness.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she told me i tasted like america
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
