Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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