Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
