I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
