I hate your face
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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