I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
