I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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