My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
