You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's like iHOP with fire
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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