I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
