Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
