chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
40s are totally the cure
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
