So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize