Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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